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If You're Going to Whine, Just Shut Up! is the ninth episode of The Amazing Race 5.


Five teams continue the race through India as one team chooses to go for the Fast Forward and are faced with one of the most difficult decisions a team has ever had to make

Halfway to the airport, two teams realize they have both made very serious tactical errors that force them to retrace their steps. Meanwhile, one team gets into a dispute with a local cab driver who gets the local police involved.[2][3]


Route Markers[]

The order of departure from the desert oasis are as follows:

  1. Colin & Christie (10:51 pm)
  2. Brandon & Nicole (11:27 pm)
  3. Chip & Kim (11:41 pm)
  4. Linda & Karen (11:42 am)
  5. Kami & Karli (12:14 am)

Teams must drive themselves to the Wild Wadi Water Park to find their next clue.

Both team members must go down the Jumeirah Sceirah slide in Wild Wadi Water Park in order to receive their next clue.

Teams must fly to Kolkata, India. Upon arrival, teams must find Sahid Minar to find their next clue.

At Sahid Minar, teams have the option to Yield a team. None of the teams opted to use the Yield.

The Fast Forward instructions were given to teams after finding their clue at the Sahid Minar. Teams must make their way to Kripamayee Kali Temple and engage in a Hindu cleansing ritual that involves shaving the head of all hair. Once both team members were completely bald, they would win the Fast Forward award. Brandon & Nicole attempted to go for the Fast Forward, but decided not to shave their heads.

Teams must make their way to Garia and find the Globe Brick Factory to search for their next clue.

"Who's ready to get down and dirty?"

The team member assigned to perform this Roadblock must collect mud and use a traditional Indian mold to create 20 mud bricks. If all 20 bricks passed a rigorous quality inspection, teams would receive their next clue.

The Roadblock performers per team are underlined:

Teams must take a train to the Sealdah Station back in Kolkata to find their next clue.

Choice A: Heavy but Short
Teams must travel over 10 miles to Lansdowne Road to transport a taxi a half-mile to a local garage. The taxis have no engines, so teams would have to push the taxi in a short distance, where the owner would hand them their next clue.

All teams chose this task.

Choice B: Light but Long
Teams must travel to Mallik Ghat Flower Market to find a particular stall and receive a garland, which they must then release into the Ganges river for good luck to receive their next clue.

None of the teams chose this task.

Teams must make their way to the Victoria Memorial to check in.

For coming in first place, Colin & Christie won a vacation to Mexico provided by American Airlines.

For coming last place, Brandon & Nicole would have to surrender all of their money, and they would not receive any money at the start of the next leg.


     First Place •      Eliminated     Last placer on a Non-Elimination Leg or continue racing on a No-Rest Leg     Season winner •      Season 2nd place •      Season 3rd place • Used the Fast Forward> Used the Yield< Recipient of the Yield
Colin & Christie
 1st place 
Colin & Christie
Chip & Kim
 2nd place 
Chip & Kim
Married Parents
Linda & Karen
 3rd place 
Linda & Karen
Bowling Moms
Kami & Karli
 4th place 
Kami & Karli
Brandon & Nicole
 5th place 
Brandon & Nicole
Dating Models



  • Al Rios at TARflies (09/05/2004): "A Visit to India... Bricks and Barbers"


The Amazing Race 5 Episodes

"Clearly, I'm More Intelligent than You" · "It Turned Ugly Just Now" · "I Got Electrocuted" · "Who Says Pageant Girls Don't Eat?" · "Are You Good at Puzzles?" · "Why Can't We Get a Camel?" · "Are You Sure This Is Safe?" · "I'm Going to Jail" · "If You're Gonna Whine, Just Shut Up!" · "If They're Screwing the Helmet to My Head, It Can't Be Good" · "It's Okay, Run Them Over!" · "You've Just Made Me a Millionaire"